Ed's Evil Christmas
by SlayerTank99
Summary: I decided to take a break from Ed Edd n Eddy: The Purge and A Nightmare In The Cul-De-Sac Part 2 to work on this. I wrote a story with the same name last year and I absolutely hated it because I didn't put any effort into it at all. So now I present a remake of Ed's Evil Christmas. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Christmas Eve 1988**

Ed was just eight years-old and Sarah was just six and their mother brought theme to the center of the stairs where they sat.

Suddenly, Santa Claus came down the chimney and exited eating the cookies and drinking the milk on the top of the mantel.. After that, he put small gifts in the two stockings hanging over the mantel and took presents out of his bag and put theme under the tree. He then noticed Ed and Sarah looking at him so he winked and touched his nose before he went up the chimney.

Shortly after Ed and Sarah were walking back to their rooms when Sarah said:

"It was daddy!"

"Huh?" Ed asked.

"Santa Claus was just daddy wearing a costume." Sarah told him back.

"That's not true Sarah!" Ed shouted back.

Later Ed was sleeping in his room until he began to hear noises coming from downstairs. The young curios Ed went downstairs to see something he would never forget.

Ed's dad was still in his Santa suit sexuly fondling his mother on her legs to her delight.

The young heartbroken Ed ran up to his room where he saw a small Santa Claus glass figure he was keeping on his dresser. Ed picked it up and threw it on the ground. Then Ed took one of the sharp shards of glass and poked the center of his hand causing it to bleed.

Ed would never be the same after that.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Chapter 2

**NOVEMBER 2016**

Ed was now thirty-six years-old and he lived a very successful and normal life. He still lived in Peach Creek like all his friends from his childhood.

There was only one thing different though.

Ed was obsessed with Christmas.

All year long Ed would have his house decorated with Christmas decorations and he would even wear Santa Claus pajamas and a Santa hat when he slept.

It was 5 a.m. and Ed's Christmas alarm clock woke him up playing an instrumental version of "Joy to the World". Ed got out of bed feeling completely refreshed as he did squats before he walked into his bathroom and picked up his shaving cream. He sang along to his alarm clock as he began shaving with his safety razor.

After words Ed walked downstairs dressed in a brown suit with a white dress shirt and black tie to his kitchen. As he continued to sing "Joy to the World" he took two waffles from his freezer and placed theme in his toaster followed by pouring coffee into his Santa Claus mug as he added milk and two teaspoons of sugar. After words the waffles popped up from his toaster and he took theme out, sat theme on a plate and put syrup on theme. He then walked to his table and began eating theme.

After enjoying a good breakfast, Ed walked to his front door where he put of his trench coat over his suit and exited wear it was a blizzard outside. Ed then locked the door after he closed it and walked to his car.

Just as he was about to open the door Rolf who was his neighbor called out to Ed.

"Hello yellow skin Ed-boy!" Rolf called out as he was shoveling snow off his driveway.

"Hi Rolf!" Ed said.

Ed got in his car and began driving. As Ed was driving he turned on the radio which started playing "The Christmas Song" much to his delight. Ed

drove twenty minutes to work every day to his job at Flemington Toys Inc.

Ed was actually the manager of the company and the only problem was all of his employees mocked him because of his obsession for Christmas.

Later, Ed was having a meeting with all of his employees in the manufacture room.

"Now listen everyone I need these toys made by Thanksgiving."

"Why?" One of his workers asked.

"Because the Macy's not far from her is expecting a shipping two days from Thanksgiving."

"You know what Ed why don't you just get Santa Claus's little elves to help make your toys!"

Everyone laughed.

Two hours later, Ed was in his office typing on his computer when his office phone rang.

Ed picked up the phone and said: "Flemington Toys Incorporated. This is Ed Horace speaking how may I help you?"

"Hello Ed it's me Jim"

"Jim why are you calling?" Ed said.

"I really won't be able to come into work today."

"Why is that?" Ed asked.

"I have pneumonia."

"Oh okay then well get plenty of rest and I hope you get well soon." Ed said.

"Goodbye" Ed said before he hung up.

Later that evening Ed was driving home and began hearing the voices of his coworkers laughing at him.

When Ed got home the first thing he did was pick up a pair of binoculars in his house and went on the top of his roof to spy on the neighborhood kids.

Ed was standing on the roof looking through his binoculars.

"Come on where are my little good boys and girls?"

Ed kept searching until he finally came upon a young boy shoveling snow off his driveway.

"Kaiden Johnston"

"Good boy Kaiden"

"Who else?"

Ed came upon a young girl inside her house playing with a doll house.

"Madison Evans"

"Sweet and good"

Next Ed came upon a young boy who was looking through a playboy magazine.

Ed gasped.

"Michael Collins!"

Ed continued watching as Michael pulled out a cut out nude photo of a naked women from the magazine.

Ed quickly ran downstairs to his office and pulled out a book from his shelf that was titled "Naughty 2016".

Ed flipped to a page that had Michael Collins name on it and he wrote down "Looking through a pornagraphic magazine."

Ed then closed the book and put it back on the shelf then pulled out another book titled "Nice 2016"

First he flipped to Kaiden Johnston's page and wrote "Shoveling snow off his driveway" then he flipped to Madison Evans page and wrote "Playing with her doll house."

Ed then put the book back on the shelf.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Chapter 3

**THANKSGIVING**

Ed was sitting on his couch eating a bowl of soup watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Ed remembered he had to call someone and picked up his cell phone.

Who was he calling? His sister Sarah.

Sarah was very successful and she was married to Jimmy for almost ten years.

They had two children. One boy named Quinn and a girl named Madison.

They even lived in the same house where Ed and Sarah spent their childhoods in.

The phone in the house rang and Jimmy came to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jimmy it's me Ed. Can you get me Sarah?"

"Sure" Jimmy said as he called

Sarah who came to the phone.

"Who is it?" Sarah asked.

"It's Ed" Jimmy said as he handed her the phone.

"Ed aren't you on your way over?" Sarah said as she checked her watch.

"I'm really sorry I can't make it" Ed said.

"What do you mean Ed? The kids are really looking forward to seeing you." Sarah said.

"Is that uncle Ed?" Quinn said from the living room.

Sarah hushed Quinn.

"Ed is something wrong?"

"No nothing's wrong I can't just make it" Ed said.

"Bye" Ed said as he stopped his call.

As Ed saw Santa Claus on the TV it encouraged him to do something.

Ed began to take red curtains and began to make a homemade Santa Claus suit.

After that he decided to go grocery shopping.

On his way to the store he encountered the three kids he spied on earlier.

"Hi Mr. Horace!" One of the kids called.

"Hi Kaiden, Madison, Michael!" Ed said.

"What do you want for Christmas?"

"I want an Easy Bake Oven!" Madison said.

"I want a Batman lego set!" Kaiden said.

"Well I hope Santa brings it for you!" Ed said as he continued to walk.

"I wish I had a lifelong subscription to Playboy magazine!" Michael shouted out.

"Michael Collins" Ed though.

A while later Ed was walking downtown Peach Creek and he came upon a bar when he heard the voice of Jim.

He peeped through a windows to see Jim with other people having a conversation.

"So what did you do?" someone said.

"I called off pretending to be sick" Jim said.

Everyone laughed.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I hate working for that yellow-skinned faggot! He's so fucking obsessed with Christmas that it irritates the shit out of me!"

Ed's blood was boiling with anger as quickly ran back to his house.

He dropped his groceries on his kitchen table and began to scream in anger.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Chapter 4

DECEMBER 20

Christmas was only five days away and Ed was driving to his company's Christmas party.

When Ed arrived people were dancing while Christmas music was playing and people were also taking drinks from the bartender.

Ed started to walk around hoping that he would find someone he knew.

"Hello Ed" someone called.

It was Mr. Albertson Ed's boss.

"Hello sir" Ed said as he shook his hand.

"Hey I wanted to introduce you to our new assistant manager Doug Stevenson."

"Hello" Ed said as he shook his hand.

Suddenly, a tv showing an ad for the company came up by the three.

"The Peach Creek Hospital For Disabled Children is working with Flemington Toys Incorporated to give toys for all the children. Because Christmas is giving. Happy Holidays from the Peach Creek Hospital For Disabled Children."

"Are we really doing that?" Ed asked Albertson.

"No." Albertson said hysterically.

"No?!" Ed said pretty shocked.

"Yeah Ed you see where just doing an advertisement campaign to earn more money."

"That's horrible!" Ed said as she stormed off.

Ed finally was over the edge. He couldn't believe people could be like this during Christmas.

Ed drove home and he began to paint his white windowless van to make it look like a sleigh.

After that he started making homemade toys like toy soldiers and cars.

Finally, Ed decided to put on the beard of his Santa Claus suit to see how it was.

Ed started freaking out.

"It's me! I'm him!" Ed said.

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. Chapter 5

**CHRISTMAS EVE**

It was Christmas Eve in Sarah and Jimmy's house and Ed was inside dressed in his Santa suit.

It wasn't a normal looking Santa suit, it was more old-fashioned looking like it was from the early 20th century.

Ed walked to the Christmas tree in the living room as the fire roared behind him.

He pulled out a kitchen knife and began to cut the ribbons on the presents under the tree.

He then began to unwrap theme and break the toys inside.

Then he left brand new presents from his sack under the tree before her left the house.

Ed got in his van and he drove off to Flemington's.

He broke into the factory and stole numerous toys from the conveyor belts.

Finally after that he took of to the Peach Creek Hospital for Disabled Children.

He arrived through the back entrance and caught the attention of the guard.

"What are you doing here?"

"I have a delivery" Ed said.

"We were never expecting a delivery" The guard said.

"Look I'm in a really big hurry!" Ed said.

"Please do I look like I'm joking?" Ed said obviously showing the guard he's Santa Claus

"Here Merry Christmas" Ed said as he gave the guard a small present.

"Okay" The guard said as he went inside the hospital.

Ed stranded outside for a while and then he said:

"Merry Christmas"

After a few seconds he said it louder.

"Merry Christmas!"

Finally, he cleared his throat and said it as loud as he can.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Doctors and a nurse came out shocked at what they were seeing.

"Who sent this?" One of the doctors asked.

"Just say it was from St. Nicholas" Ed said.

Inside Ed's van was a bunch of toys wrapped for the children.

"Nurse go get help!" A doctor said.

Then more staff came out and carried all the presents from Ed's van into the hospital.

Finally after that, Ed had to go and all the doctors and nurses waved goodbye.

Where did Ed go now?

He was going through downtown Peach Creek and he stopped at the Peach Creek First Congregational Church of Christ.

It was the largest church in Peach Creek and one of the famous landmarks of the city.

Ed was standing right outside the entrance down the steps until Christmas Eve mass at the church ended and everyone started walking down the steps.

Five of the people walking down dressed in suits came up to Ed and started teasing him.

"Well Santa you look like you're ready for a busy night."

"Richard please show some respect." One of them said.

"Come on James it's kind of funny."

James sighed as Richard continued teasing Ed.

"I also see that you ditched your reindeer for more common wheeles."

Richard and the others except James laughed.

Ed was ferocious in his mind and he slowly let out:

"I have something for you"

Ed pulled out a toy soldier that had a pointed sword towards Richard's face.

"I have unusual taste" Richard said.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Ed shouted as he drove the toy soldiers sword right through Richard's eye.

The crowd gasped as Richard was covering his eye screaming in pain as blood oozed out.

As everyone by him began screaming as well Ed pulled out a small hatchet and hit their heads with it constant times until they all dropped on the ground dead.

Ed quickly hopped in his van and drove off as the churchgoers were standing with shock after seeing "Santa's bloody crime"

Rolf, Kevin, Nazz, Jonny, and The Kanker Sisters all were in the crowd as their children were crying in fear and traumatized.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	6. Chapter 6

Ed was driving away from downtown Peach Creek as fast as he can.

He couldn't believe he just murdered five people in cold blood.

However, he thought it was necessary and realized he had to continue.

He quickly went to his next stop.

It was his co worker Jim's house.

Ed first put a ladder on his house and climbed on the roof.

He tried going down the chimney.

But he got stuck.

He started struggling to get out until he finally made it out.

After that Ed started looking through the house until he finally found a window that lead to the basement.

He went through the window and he walked up the stairs that went to the living room.

There he started emptying his sack and putting presents under the tree.

While he was doing that Jim's two children were watching him while smiling.

When Ed turned around they quickly got out of his site.

Ed got up and walked right into Jim's room.

Jim was asleep with his wife.

"So Jim, my obsession irritates you huh?"

"Ed?" Jim said really confused.

"Merry Christmas Jim" Ed said as he put his sack on Jim's face and began trying to smothering him.

However, Ed thought it was to long and reached for a scalpel on the dresser by the bed and took his sack of Jim's face.

As Jim got up to gasp for air Ed slashed his throat with the scalpel.

His wife didn't wake up because she was in a deep sleep.

Ed walked to the front door and opened it and just when he was about to step out he saw Jim's children smiling at him.

Ed winked at them and then heard Jim's wife screaming in horror making him run out and drive away.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHRISTMAS DAY**

It was Christmas and Quinn and Madison were playing with their toys while watching _Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town_ on the TV.

Sarah was really worried about Ed.

"This isn't right" Sarah said.

"What?" Jimmy asked.

"Ed's always here on Christmas"

"Why do you always worry so much about him?" Jimmy asked.

"He's been acting so weird."

Suddenly, the tv cut to a breaking news report catching Sarah and Jimmy's attention.

"This is a breaking news report." The TV said.

It showed a reporter standing in front of the crime scene where Ed killed the five churchgoers.

"Right behind me is the Peach Creek First Congregational Church of Christ. For years it has been famous for it's masses and it's wonderful design and size. But last night a tragedy happened right behind me. A man dressed as Santa Claus murdered five people in cold blood. After that he killed a man named Jim Terence in his bed when he was sleeping. Santa Claus is the only way we can identify the man. Avoid anyone dressed as Santa Claus. If you see anyone dressed as Santa Claus acting suspicious dial 9-1-1. As of now the Peach Creek Police Department is currently on the lookout.

"This concludes our breaking news report. We now return you to our regularly scheduled programing." The TV said and then it returned to the show.

"Oh my" Jimmy said.

Meanwhile, Ed was sleeping in his van and he finally was starting to wake up.

Ed drove to Flemington's and went in and picked up a toy car on one of the conveyor belts.

"I tell theme every single year. They never listen to me."

Ed threw the toy car on the ground in anger completely breaking it.

Ed then activated the belts and the toys rolled onto the floor one by one.

Meanwhile, at the Peach Creek Police Department there were Santa Clauses being lined up to see who the killer was.

Edd, Eddy, Kevin, Nazz, Rolf, and the Kanker Sisters were asked to come and tell the police who it was.

"No it wasn't any of these Santa's his suit was vintage looking!" Kevin said.

"Yeah and he was very tall!" Eddy said.

"He also had yellow skin!" Jonny said.

"Wait a second. Did you just say he had yellow skin?" Edd asked.

"Yeah" Jonny said.

"Oh my lord! I know who it is!" Edd said.

"Who?" Kevin asked.

"Ed"

"LUMPY?!" Eddy yelled in shock.

"Come on everyone we have to stop him!" Eddy yelled as everyone agreed.

A few hours later when it was dark Ed decided to go and deliver more toys.

Ed drove his van to a small neighborhood in peach creek and got out.

As he was walking some kids ran up to him.

"Santa!" A kid cried.

A few kids ran up to him.

"Santa why is your suit so dirty?"

"Um...there's a lot of pollution from the North Pole to here." Ed said.

The kids parents quickly recognized him as the homicidal Santa from yesterday.

"GET AWAY FROM THEM!" One of them yelled.

"Mike don't he'll hurt our kids." Another one said.

"Shut up and let me handle this." Mike said.

"Mike come on we don't know if it really is him."

"I know it's him. Look at that suit and how old it looks." Mike said.

Mike tried approaching Ed but then he said:

"Don't come any closer."

Mike pulled out a gun and pointed it straight at Ed.

"Mike are your crazy!?" Someone shouted.

"Step away from them now!" Mike shouted.

One of the adults pulled Mike back causing him to drop the gun.

A kid came up and picked up the gun and gave it to Ed.

Ed tried to flee from the area.

"Let's get him!" Mike shouted.

As they chased after Ed he took the gun and fired at theme.

Two of them died instantly while one of theme feel critically wounded.

Ed quickly got back into his van and drove off.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	8. Chapter 8

Ed was quickly driving to Sarah's house.

When he made it he got to the front door and ringed the doorbell.

Sarah was shocked to see that Ed was in a Santa suit and immediately opened the door.

"Oh my god. I knew it was you!" Sarah said.

"Get in here! How many people did you kill?!" Sarah said as he pulled Ed into the house and held on to his suit.

"I don't understand Sarah. Why do you and they hate." Ed said.

"You son of a bitch!" Sarah said.

"No mom don't hurt uncle Ed!" Quinn said from the stars.

"Get theme upstairs!" Sarah told Jimmy.

"Why?"

"NO QUESTIONS JUST DO IT!" Sarah shouted.

Jimmy took Quinn and Madison up to their rooms.

"Remember when you told me dad was Santa?" Ed said.

"I was six years-old!" Sarah said.

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck and began strangling him.

"SARAH!" Jimmy screamed.

After a while Ed finally went unconscious.

Sarah was freaking out thinking she killed him.

She quickly picked up Ed and dragged him outside and put him in his van.

Ed finally regained consciousness and punched Sarah knocking her to the ground.

Ed drove off causing Sarah to run after him.

"ED!" Sarah screamed as she ran.

As Ed was driving Edd, Eddy, Kevin, Rolf, Jonny, and the Kanker Sister quickly saw his van and tried to stop him.

Ed thought they were trying to kill him and tried turning the van to avoid them.

However, his van swirled because of the icy roads and it crashed off the bridge and his van plummeted into the frozen river, killing him.

But in Ed's mind he saw himself really becoming Santa Claus flying into safety and he heard himself say:

"But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

 **THE END**

 **I hope you enjoyed Ed's Evil Christmas. I appreciate your feedback. Happy Holidays from TheDarkMaster95!**


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